Ultimate Human #3 Review

Writer: Warren Ellis
Art: Cary Nord

Summary:
We start with Mr. Wisdom talking to the Director of Intelligence. He wants a promotion, but the promotion can only be handed in by the Deputy Chief. The D.INT will be the new Deputy Chief, and tells Wisdom that he is going to stay on the project for another 2 years. That makes Wisdom suicidal. Wisdom meets the Special Selection guy. He says that the Deputy Chief is going to screw him unless they kill him. Then he goes on to say that they need to worry about the Bruce Banner because he can tear up half the country without trying (they are all British). They are worried for Britain's security, and they don't want to piss off Stark. Wisdom goes into the office of a top boss. The boss says he is approving the European Defense Initiative, and that makes Wisdom mad. Wisdom comes back and proposes a British Enhencile Program. This is basically making superheroes for Britain to protect them. He says stuff like they could have found Bin Laden in 4 months and stuff. And more importantly, this program will protect them against the Hulk if it becomes necessary. The higher-up tells him he has a month to prove that his program can exceed the Euro Initiative Program. Wisdom tells Dr. Stagg to get his shit ready for testing. He says that he will be the recipient of the Enhancile procedure. Wisdom goes to the testing site. He gets strapped in to the machine, and figures out he is going to be stabbed with 6 large needles. He gets stabbed. We go back to the British intelligence office, where the large headed guy from the first 2 issues comes in. That is Wisdom. The supersoldier serum just gave him a big head. He kills Stagg with some ability. The higher-up gets security and tells him to go and hide because if he doesn't, he will get shot. Back to the present, where Wisdom tells Stark and Banner to give him their blood. He says they will be dead soon, and calls himself the Ultimate Human.

Comments:
That was a great issue. I got really confused in the beginning with all that government intelligence jargon, but it really cleared up later. So the whole thing was a backstory. I didn't know who "Mr. Wisdom" was, but it as clear he is a disillusioned nationalist. He wants British to be on top, but he also wants to be the one to be on top. He starts out being all about Britain, gets shot up with drugs, grows a big head, gets exiled, and becomes a villain. This was a really nice issue if you follow the series. We didn't know who this big headed guy was in the first 2 books, but it all becomes clear at the end. That ending was sweet, and how he pronounced himself the Ultimate Human was really cool too. I always wondered who was the Ultimate Human. I thought it was the Hulk because he turned gray and shit, but who knows. This was a very good read.

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Legion of Superheroes #40 Review

Enemy Rising (Part 1- Headlong Into Darkness)
Writer: Jim Shooter
Art: Francis Manapul

Summary:
We start the issue with Shadow Lass fighting a monster. She stabs him, but the monster keeps coming back for more. Brainiac 5 comes to help her, and tells here where to cut him. She cuts the monster down and kills it. We go to Lightning Lad, who just wakes up and figures out his 7 am meeting was canceled. it is 8:14 am. We have a broohaha in the main room with all the legionnaires talking. The crew from the planet they were in comes. Timber Wolf is freaking out and hitting things. We learn that Saturn Girl had to control Wolf's mind, which is a felony apparently. This causes a ruckus with the legionnaires. Lightning Lad steps up and just wails on the 2. He tells Wolf to get control of himself and tells Saturn Girl to never invade anyone else's mind. Lad and some other legionnaires go chill out in a room. Lad says that they will get to the matter at hand after some coffee. Princess joins the fray. Just then, a bunch of people head up to the Legion's Tower. Some bio-tech people and electricians come up, much to Lad's dismay. We find out that the Princess is being sued. We go to another room, with the top people in it. Brainiac fills them in on some space jargon, and they all get to it. We go to the training center, where Lad is taking some target practice. The sister comes in and tells him that he handled himself well, and that the Legion needs a strong leader. We go to a space sector with Karate Kid. He is doing some useless garbage. Phantom Girl, too, is not finding anything. We have Invisible Kid going to someone's house and telling them how tight her daughter is. Turns out, she was in jail and escaped. Invisible Kid goes to check out some computer stuff. He says all of the city's deflectors are down except for one. Someone approaches. We go to Princess with a set of judges. The judges tell her to renounce her throne, and she refuses. The judges explain that the U.P needs a ton of cash, so they sued the hell out of Orando. Princess walks through the streets very angry and upset. We end the issue with Saturn girl getting out of the infirmary. To be honest, I am watching the UNC game and not really paying attention, so i have no idea what the fuck happened at the end.

Comments:
That was a solid issue. Despite my distracted state, i still felt good about this issue. It is tough to follow because there are so many characters, but that is what makes it fun. I appreciate that Shooter is developing Lad into an able leader. His scene with Timber Wolf and Saturn Girl was good, and it was supplemented by the scene where his sister backs him. I don't really understand why everyone is running around the universe, especially when every scene that happened in resulted in nothing constructive. But i still had a good time reading it. The art is really good.

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All Star Superman #10 Review

Neverending
Writer: Grant Morrison
Art: Frank Quietly

Summary:
I just got a little heads up that this issue kicks ass, but lets see for ourselves. We start the issue with Superman helping out little children in Africa i am guessing. We see Kal-El talking to his computer about his last testament. He says that he has to do 12 tasks that bring him close to his death. He has done 7 of them so far. We see people in Kandor carrying about their business. I think the city is in a bottle. Well, Superman turns Quintim into a miniature version of himself so he won't be affected by the gravity of the bottle city. Quintum is at a meeting with the bearucracy to discuss how to de-maniaturize the people. He says he has a solution. We go back to Superman's monologue, where he talks about he couldn't imagine a world without Superman. He created an artificial world without Superman to see how it goes. We have Superman back on earth, and a giant robot heading his way! Louis and Superman team up to demolish the robot. Then, Louis asks Superman why they never talk. She reveals that she knows that he is suffering from solar radiation overdose. We see Superman leaving the scene to save a girl from jumping off the roof. Back on Kondor, they are debating on whether they want to leave the bottle or not. Then, the Kondor Emergency Corps comes up and says they have a plan for saving Superman. Superman is slowly dying as his skin is deteriorating. Superman goes to Lex and tells him that he is indeed dying. He gives Lex 3 weeks to do whatever to the world. All of those plans he had that he couldn't do because Superman was around. Well, he has 3 weeks to do whatever before they execute him. Superman tells him that he knows he has good in him. Superman breaks open a box, and figures out that his 8th challenge is solar intelligence systems. We go to Superman and a Professor. Superman gives him his entire gene sequence and instructions on how to combine human DNA with Kryptonian DNA. We find out that the Emergency Corps could not help Superman beat his disease. Being the class act he is, he goes back to the hospital to give the dying children the Kandorians so that they can get better. What a man. We end the issue with going to Earth-Q (the one without Superman), and we see an artist drawing Superman.

Comments:
That was a fantastic issue. I love DC's All Star series. It is some of the best stuff around in comics. Where AS Batman is all about ridiculousness, jokes, and fun, AS Superman is just a very well crafted story. This book has everything you look for in a comic- dialog, plot, characters, and intrigue. I love how Morrison deals with all of his characters. He makes Superman just come out like a champ. The reader legitimately gets behind the character. Reading this, i was pretty depressed that Superman was dying. That might seem like bullshit, but Morrison really makes Superman seem like a genuine human being that cares about people (that scene with the dying hospital kids was excellent). Superman is also a man that really looks for the good in people. In this issue, he tells Luthor to do the right thing, because he knows there is still good in him. We see Superman giving over invaluable information to a common man, just because he trusts his nature. The whole death of Superman thing was done really well. The end was great, as he just reminisced all the things that are important to him. I can't really find any fault with this issue so you should definitely

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The Brave and the Bold #11 Review

Writer: Mark Waid
Artist: Jerry Ordway, Bob Wiacek

Summary: The Brave and the Bold is a fun little title that DC puts out. It is a fun little title about superhero team ups. It starts Metamorpho who is being possessed by an alchemist (makes sense), he has just taken Green Lantern's lantern and combines with it to make a super terrorist guy. He takes out some time travelers with much ease. At the Daily Planet some bastard is pranking Clark by putting cheese and Olsen is about to snitch (nobody likes a snitch mmmmkay). Clark has just grown a pair and kicks some ass and breaks some wrists. He makes out with a blonde reporter then goes into the broom closet to change into Ultraman (what a twist). Superman happens to be hanging outside the window and they start brawling. It turns out that the alchemist is getting ready to do some real shit and the MXYZPTLK sent Ultraman to help Superman end this threat. They are flying towards the sun because his base is there but the super Metamorpho terrorist guy turns it green and Ultraman and Superman are screwed pretty hard, like prison sex hard.

Comments: I like this title is because it is a fun issue. Not much here. They have solid art, solid dialog, and it is all around a good time. Not much to say other than...

SKIM IT

Countdown #06 Review

Writer: Adam Beechen
Artist: Mike Norton

Summary: We are having such a great comics week that I felt it is necessary to start posting reviews of some crappy comics. Face it, we're due so here it is in all its glory, the Countdown to nothing review. This issue is meant to be the start of the Great Disaster and it begins with a thud. The story is told without dialog and is all narration boxes. Just a quick note before the review. We start with Buddy walking down the halls recapping what happened. Karate Kidd is died due to lack of Mr Migagee (I miss you Pat) and now they are about to autopsy. They are watching the news and the virus has spread and is infecting some people. They haven't picked up on that and continue the autopsy when the virus pops out and starts attacking them. Green Lantern catches it but it has gone airborne so everyone is screwed. The first city that goes to hell happens to be Gotham because it just happens that way. Kyle brings Jason in and in true inept writing fashion he is written as a complete douchebag. The disaster really hits home when female scientist #2 goes crazy and takes out random scientist guy #5. Ray's stressed out, Mary Marvel punches Jason, and Hal takes the virus into space. Buddy decides to fuck it and go home and be with the grandson and daughter. Una decides to tag along and the Great Disaster is upon us.

Comments: The word lame gets tossed around a lot lately and this issue really redefines the word. First how are you going to have something with a name like the Great Disaster and not have any dialog in that same issue. If this is the climax of Countdown they should at least have someone say something out loud. That'd be nice, all I'm saying. Another thing is due to the way this title treats the Multiverse I really don't care whether it lives or not. It seems like it was nothing but cannon fodder. The virus won't spread to the Universe-Alpha or whatever the prime universe is. Look I am going to be straight, bad dialog, ok art, terrible story, don't buy it, move on...

FUCK IT

Robin #172 Review

The Takedown
Writer: Chuck Dixon
Art: David Baldeon

Summary:
We start with Tim investigating an illegal casino which Violet broke into. We see Robin (I am assuming this is before the first scene) talking to some detectives, who tell him to testify in court on some guys. Robin gets a location of the off-the-books casino and heads over there. He checks out the casino from a vent, and tells some cops to make a move. We see the detectives talking about if they can trust Robin, and the other one assures him that Robin is a chump. Tim calls his girlfriend's dad and tells him that he is sorry that he had fell asleep on the first date. While he does that, Violet is robbing the casino. There is a big shootout. All the guards shoot at Robin, who ducks out and eventually escapes. The GCPD comes in and makes some arrests, while Violet is long gone with the cash. Robin goes after her, and Stephanie hung around back. We see Oswald gleeful about what took place, and says that Robin and Violet are going to die.

Comments:
This was a solid issue. You can't take this issue too seriously, as it is just a light read. Not too much deep thought here, just a lot of fun. Dixon does a good job with Tim Drake, and he uses him better than anyone else I have seen. The plot is very basic, but that is not a bad thing. It has one layer, and it is easy to follow. We get a lot of action from Tim, and there were some funny moments in here. If you don't take this title seriously, it is a very fun read.

Verdict:
GET IT

Incredible Hercules #115 Review

Glory of Hera
Writer: Greg Pak and Fred Van Lente
Art: Khoi Pham

Summary:
We start the issue with a strike team hoping to strike it rich by blowing up a semi that contained adamantium, but nothing was in the truck. We see somebody let out a the legions of Sakaar out of prison. We go to Amadeus and Hercules, who stole a SHIELD ship. SHIELD officers tell them that missiles are on the way to destroy the ship if Amadeus doesn't discharge the virus he is about to set off. Hercules wants him to shut off the virus, but Amadeus is a bitch and he won't do it. Ares comes out and beats the hell out of Hercules, while ranting about how he doesn't get any love, and how Hercules gets all the glory. Herc eventually finishes off Ares, telling him that he gains strength from men or something heroic like that. He tells a little story to Amadeus about how he destroyed his family out of anger, and tells him that destroying SHIELD is not the right way to go, because it would be done out of anger. He tells him that because he is immortal, no one can stop him from doing the same stupid things, but Amadeus is not immortal, so he should think about his choice carefully. Amadeus conforms. We see the negative zone emptying. Hercules and Amadeus go back to Athena, who tells them to prepare for war.

Comments:
That was an awesome issue. I have really enjoyed this title, and it is one of the better titles in Marvel right now. We get a good mix of dialog and action. The fight scene with Ares and Hercules was awesome, and the dialog between the 2 really added to the fight. I really liked how Marvel is giving Hercules a slight face turn now, since he stopped the virus and all. He is coming across as a people's champ (gains his strength from men or something), and he is a father-figure to Amadeus. Amadeus is such a little bitch its not even funny. I am not sure i appreciate it that much. If i saw him in the street, I would beat his ass for being such a little prick. I am glad he listened to Hercules, or that would make Herc look like a bitch. I don't really understand the ending, or the negative zone stuff, but i really enjoyed the issue because of Hercules. Getting a better supporting cast would push this title over the top. The art is below average to average.

Verdict:
OWN IT

Iron Man #27 Review

Haunted
Writers: Daniel and Charles Knauf
Art: Carlo Pagulayan

Summary:
We start with Stark layed out in Nebraska (again). He is hallucinating imaginary people. We see that the U.S government is moving in on the SHIELD Helicarrier and Stark. They brought jets and tanks to stop them. Tony goes to see Maya, and tells her to give up the details on the airborne extremis so that they can make a vaccine. She refuses without getting hard evidence that Mandarin has unlocked it. Tony holds a meeting with Maria and Timothy and tells them to investigate the business interests of the Mandarin. We go to court, where Osbourne grills the shrink about Tony not being psychologically cleared to command. The shrink says he never said that and tells Osbourne that he is the crazy one. We go to the skrull from the last issue. Tony wants to figure out how the skrull went undetected by technology and mutant powers. Maria calls and tells him there is another skrull, prompting Tony to leave. Back at the court, the shrink wants to subpoena Jack Kooning. Osbourne asks him what happened to Kooning, since the he and Tony were the last to see him. Tony gets his ass blindfolded and taken into a rainforest (I am guessing it is a military base). Tony shows Maya video of one of Mandarin's guys saying that he did mass produce extremis, and then Maya agrees to give it up. Correction: the guy hauled off to the rainforest was Jack Kooning, not Tony. We see that Timothy is just wailing on a Chinaman about his country harboring Mandarin's factories. He dishes out some threats. We see Jack in the rainforest, meeting up with an old pal. He tells him that he is going to face the music, but first he is going to tie up some loose ends (we see a gun). He wants to kill the Mandarin. We see that Maya has finally given up the goods to Tony. We see that the motherfucking Mandarin tricked Maya into believing he was Tony, and that is how he got the full details to the extremis. We see that he uploaded the files to his buddy, who is going to load them up in missiles. Motherfucker.

Comments:
That was a great issue. Everything was good about this issue. I was slow to catch on with this title, but I am sure glad that I have. We get twists and turns throughout this book. Everything was just well plotted and executed. The Knaufs have really turned this title into a first-tier Marvel comic. I know that most people don't read it, but now I am looking forward to it as I would look forward to Cap. The twist with the Mandarin at the end was just insane. I got a heads up like 5 seconds before i actually read it, but nonetheless it was crazy. He is just totally fucking Maya over. Just a thorough rape. She fought hard, even insisting that she wanted evidence before she would give it up, and Mandarin gave it to her. Then she just got duped. If that was me i would go kill myself. The whole thing was great. The character work was pretty solid, and i you get a good feel about the characters. But this was a plot driven issue with twists and turns, and I had a blast reading it. We get a good look at the court proceedings, which was filled with good back and forth dialog between the shrink and Osbourne. There wasn't much action in this issue, but the story was real good. The thing with the missiles are pretty crazy. Mandarin is rising up the ranks as a top villain. He isn't there yet, but he is getting a major push by the Knaufs. He can fight, and he is very smart and crafty. Someone like that makes a perfect foil for Tony. Overall a good issue. The Kooning stuff didn't really do anything for me though.

Verdict:
OWN IT

Captain America #36 Review

Written by Ed Brubaker
Artist Butch Guice and Mike Perkins

Synopsis: The Bucky era continues to thrill and move us. Last time we left our hero he was about to go toe to toe with the Serpent Squad in the inside the Senate office. That is pretty bad ass so what better way to start that issue than with an action scene (segway). He starts brawling with the Serpent Squad who put up a fight. Black Widow hears this going down and begins to make her way to the Senate office. The corrupt Senator hears all this and decides to contact Fatus on the goings on within his office. Bucky does his signature move which is throw the shield and start shooting everyone else who doesn't get hit by the shield, a true classic. He clips Sin and shes down for the count but Crossbones is having none of that bullshit and unloads a cap on Cap's ass (pun). Crossbones then gives Bucky the classic mudhole stomping and starts choking him out. Luckily, Bucky is scrappy enough to knee Crossbones in the groin/lower abdominal area (not sure) but Crossbones comes back with a monster haymaker to Bucky. Bucky doesn't go down and goes Chuck Norris on Crossbones head and follows it up by stabbing Crossbones leg. At this point we get a commercial break where Red Skull learns of Sharon's pregnancy and what Bucky has been up to. Back to the fight now, Crossbones has just handed a vicious elbow to Bucky who is clearly losing. He tries a round house but no go, Crossbones gets a clean jab to Bucky's face. Natalia (Black Widow) is racing in Sharon's old car and manages to get there as Crossbones tosses Bucky's broke ass out the window. Bucky hits the car but pulls out his gun and repays Crossbones all those bullets he had lent him at the start of the fight, he shot him several times basically. He makes a quip real fast as he and Natalia return to the office to asses the damage. They have managed to catch some Serpent Squad jobbers and Crossbones. Sin has managed to escape and is being transported by a random Serpent Squad member. He tells the Skull what has went down and the Skull figures out that Bucky is at his crazy teenage antics again. Bucky goes to the protesters and tries to calm the hippie radicals down but as we all know hippie radicals don't listen to reason so the cops get back to work with their nightsticks (the only other languages hippies understand beside nightstick are gases and or houses). The news is reporting about the Captain America citing as well as the footage of the Senator getting saved which was doctored by the Skull and company. Stark meanwhile is covering and claiming he has no idea who or what is going on with the new Captain America. Bucky is working out and talking to Natalia about the current state of affairs. The scrubs they captured didn't know anything and they still have no leads. She tells him that now SHIELD has to work underground even more now that Bucky has showed himself and they share a kiss. Sharon is meanwhile escaping from the Skull and appears to have gotten over her brainwashing. She is looking for a secret escape tunnel when she finds a clone or the original Steve Rodgers?!!

Comments: This comic rocks so hard. It is the front runner for best comic ever. The amazing blend of action and drama cannot be any better. Brubaker gives us the best writing, we get amazing art, and it ships consistently. You can't ask for much more. Just to give you a sample of how much I respect this title, I am looking forward more to Captain America than Secret Invasion. Brubaker is like Grant Morrison in DC, he dictates what happens in his comic book and no one is going to adjust for continuity or any other bullshit. You play by his rules not your own. Now on to this issue. The dialog is fantastic, everyone has their own voice and don't sound derivative. The characters define the situation not the other way around which is pretty powerful. The plotting on this title is fantastic. The Red Skull's plan is insane if he has a Steve Rodgers in a tank. That means he is up to something big. Bucky comes across as a great Cap. He doesn't have the physical assets of Steve but makes up for it with his craftiness and his resolve to win. He and Black Widow will hook up as foreshadowed forever ago when you learned he had history with her and it didn't seemed forced. That's always a positive. Stark also looks good putting his ass on the line lying to Dick Cheyney about Buck. There is a real emotional moment when Bucky is trying to calm to hippies but they don't respond and you see the growing pains of being an American icon. They don't respond right away and you are seeing growing pains that come with the role. Bucky is trying to be the best he can be and it'll take time but it was a nice moment. It takes real courage to try to reason with hippies (my grandpa lost a hand doing it). This was simply a fantastic issue, part of a fantastic series, the only thing i can say is

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X-Factor #29 Review

Written by Peter David
Art by Valentine De Landro

Summary: Another day, another X title. Wolfesbane had left a letter for Rictor explaining why she left but he is burning it. He is kinda mad at her for leaving. Jamie and Guido are at their favorite bar and it has closed down. They interpret it as a sign. Guido says that they should take off and do work somewhere else but Jamie goes off on him saying isn't he leaving. Turns out he isn't because there are no mutants left to be a sheriff for. Jamie is walking back home and Siren is trying to tell him that he is a baby's daddy but he thinks she is leaving the team as well and completely blocks her out and doesn't let her say it. Siren is kind of mad until Monet explains to her that he had no idea what she was talking about. Rictor is leaving and goes outside and suddenly the whole building is in space. He runs back in and is freaking out. Him and Guido go outside again and everything is back to normal, then Rictor falls through a trans dimensional trap door. Siren tries to tell Jamie again but get interrupted again by Guido as they try to find Rictor. They explore this area but manage to wind up back on the street. Siren. Monet and a dupe take off because they hear Rictor who is being tortured James Bond style on a X-crucifix (groan). Guido and Jamie-Prime find themselves in a jungle when the boulder from Indiana Jones shows up and takes down Guido. On it is a poster of some C and or D-list villain called Arcade.

Comments: Look, there are too many X-titles. I just cant seem to care what is going on in each title. For example, are they really facing extinction at this point. I mean they have enough future mutants to know they live ie Cable and the baby is still alive so what the hell they bounce back. As for X-factor, I mean they seem to have no function now. They were all about protecting the former mutants as well as dealing with radicals who are trying to find a way to get their power back but now thats all gone. One thing that bugs me is when things have no function and X-factor seems like that. This was still a well-written comic and by the quality of it you would not know this group is useless. The art was solid too. The group chemistry is one reason this title is so strong and this issue reinforces that. Out of all the post Messiah Complex groups X-Factor is the best and it seems like such a waste to have them where they are. Brubaker has not found his rhythm yet on Uncanny and I doubt he will, and all the others seem to have no use except to build up to something else but that seems unlikely. X-Factor is well written with nice art but the overall direction of the title has me concerned but since we review on an issue by issue basis this is definitely a

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Mighty Avengers #10 Review

Written by: Brian Bendis
Art by: Mark Bagley

Summary: Ever since Bagley took over the art it seems like New Avengers is coming out weekly. Last time we left our heroes they were invading Doom until Sentry, Iron Man, and Doom accidentally shot themselves back in time. We pick up with Sentry waking up in an alley. He starts to freak out and notice some things are different. He sees his past self and goes crazy. Doom and Iron man face off briefly before they agree they need to get the fuck out of here. Sentry then shows up all crazy and pops Doom. He eventually calms down and go break into the Baxter building to get to the time machine. Sentry kicks the Thing's ass and they go back to the present. Doom doesn't happen to materialize and a nuke is in the way (coincidence). Iron man takes the nuke and the issue ends there.

Comments: I enjoyed this issue. This is just a fun arc. It has witty dialog that just puts a smile on your face. I liked the throwback art to show that they were in the past, that was amusing. The last page of Tony getting nuked is just awesome to look at. If i ever got nuked, I want it to look that pretty. I hope this title picks up to its original direction because right now it is just playing catchup to secret invasion which has caused it and new avengers to suffer. Bendis does do a good job with the writing. Doom's demeanor is classic. The way he just talks to Tony about how more people hate Tony than him, a vicious dictator. This is a great, fun issue so

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Salvation Run #5 Review

Through A Glass Deadly
Writer: Matthew Sturges
Art: Joe Bennett

Summary:
We have an all out brawl with the villains. Joker ends up putting a gun to Luthor's head. We go to the one dude and Christina. The man wants to breed his children on the planet, and make all the children of his blood. We go to Catwoman, who is about to join the villains fight. She gets into some heat with the villains. She rats out some dude as Martian Manhunter. MM battles with all the villians, eventually losing. We see that Desaad is going to sick some maggots on the villains.

Comments:
That was an ok issue. I really expected it to be as good as the last one, but we lost a lot of the humor and uneasy tension. This one is just all out fighting, which is ok, but it lacked substance. I liked the interaction between Luthor and Joker, but the whole Martian Manhunter thing was stupid. Even worse than that is the revelation that Desaad is just using them as training for his maggots.

Verdict:
FORGET IT

Booster Gold #7 Review

Blue and Gold (Chapter 2)- O.M.A.C'd
Writer: Geoff Johns and Jeff Katz
Art: Dan Jurgens

Summary:
We start the issue with Rip, Daniel, and the reporter. Rip wants Daniel to put on the Supernova uniform, because he thinks Booster is going to destroy the universe. We go to Booster and Beetle, who are on the run OMACs are chasing them down, but Beetle takes them out with his ship. They get on the ship, but the OMACs are about to break through. Kord does some Jedi mind tricks, fooling the OMACs into thinking that Blue and Gold are one of them. We go to Max Lord, and we learn that Kyle Rayner is dead. He figures out that Blue and Gold are still alive. They go to London. They crawl around through some sewers until they get to Catherine. She drops a bombshell and says that the world is in war with Max Lord and OMACS. They are knocking out all the heroes and some villains. Batman is missing. Superman is a heel. We go to Carter, who is chilling out in the dinosaur days. We see the future Blue Beetle, "The Black Beetle", telling Carter that the others have gathered. We go back to our heroes. Catherine is an OMAC. They brawl for a while until Green Arrow takes her out. Green Arrow and Hawkman make up the Resistance. We have Black Beetle and Supernova walking to a meeting with the Time Stealers.

Comments:
That was a solid issue. Johns and Katz do a good job with the plot development, but not so much on the characters. I liked how everything is pretty much unraveling on the Earth. The hopeless situation should help Booster come out like a champ. I liked how the future Blue Beetle went heel. That is a lot better. I like how there are 2 groups established- the Resistance and the Time Stealers. They can feud for a little while. I don't know where the OMACs will come in. Will they attack the Time Stealers too? I don't feel like Booster or Kord really shined in this issue, but the plot carried it. The art is pretty good.

Verdict:
SKIM IT

Countdown To Final Crisis #7

Gone Tomorrow
Writer: Paul Dini
Art: Tom Derenick

Summary:
We start the issue with Holly and her friend talking about how they don't have powers anymore and they are just normal people. We go back to the crew, who are carrying Karate Kid to JLA Headquarters. Superman doesn't know who they are. Firestorm freaks out and vanishes them to another place. They are in upstate New York. They figure out that they have been erased. Una cries about how we need to save Val. They go to a lab. Joker doesn't know Harley, so they must not be on the same earth. We see that Jason is in another fight. They sneak into the lab, and they are confronted by monsters. Jimmy takes them out. They run into Dubliex, who tells them that Val is already dead.

Comments:
Pretty forgettable issue. Useless banter and crappy fight scenes took up most of this book. So we learn that no one recognizes them and Val is dead. OK thats fine. Just don't put in so much filler. We are nearing the end, and we need substance. So get on it Dini. Art is what it always is. I have problems with how they are developing Jason. He is just a thug now. We see him in 1 panel, and he is getting into a fight with a citizen. That is just insane man. Calm down. I am still pretty excited for Final Crisis.

Verdict:
FORGET IT

Countdown To Final Crisis #8 Review

Writer: Paul Dini
Artist: Carlos Magno and Rodney Ramos

Synopsis: So the people at DC are just going balls to the walls to end this painful 52 week event. They probably are bleeding money due to this event. For those of you who don't follow countdown here let's jump into this summary. Ray Palmer is just shrinking his way to the chess board which the Monitor and Darkseid are going at it on the chessboard. Darkseid says he won (probably) and that the Monitors plan of setting up the Monarch failed him. The Monitor retorts that even though Darkseid has won he is going to die along with the Fourth World. Darkseid is calm though saying as he plans to remake reality anyway and there is no room for any of them in his Fifth World. Naturally Ray Palmer overhears and then books it back to the Challengers and breaks down what is going on with Darkseid. They debate over killing Karate Kid and Jason Todd makes another kill something comment. Jimmy Olsen meanwhile is jonesing to go to fight Darkseid because Darkseid has been loading him up with all the powers of the dead New Gods. The Monitor appears and warps them back to Earth while Darkseid crushes the Monitor piece because again, he is pretty sure he has won. We then get a Bizaroo backstory.

Comments: First the art is ok, there is this one really awkward panel with Donna Troy that just took me out of the issue. I just stared at it and was like god damn really, really DC? Dini has been solid on dialog but what the hell happened to Jason Todd? Seriously, he was never about killing for the sake of killing. He was an actual hero who just thought killing was necessary to cause change. He would do it because that is the only thing criminals respond to anymore. I am not appreciating this change in character at all, completely took the depth out of the character and made him into just another anti hero thug. It just isn't cool. I understand that now DC has just stopped caring and just wants to end but do you really have to stop with your commitment to quality, ok maybe you do but I hope Grant Morrison comes in and goes beast mode and makes everything ok. Basically Countdown has become the exact meaning of average which is why you

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Moon Knight #16 Review

Writer: Mike Benson
Artist: Mark Texeira

Synopsis: Moon Knight is one of those titles that has been on a hot streak. It had a disappointing finale to its last arc but quickly rebounded and has been rolling ever since. Hopefully this keeps up with the 16th issue of the series. Marc is having a dream where his god is telling him to stop fucking around and start killing some bitches. They use a very colorful playground analogy to help describe this to the reader. We cut to a news report of people being pissed off at Moon Knight for violating civil liberties and other Geneva Convention violations. The corrupt P.O. is trying to exploit that former supervillain again (him and his shenanigans) so he kills him. Marc is chilling at the resteraunt that Frenchie works at when Frenchie tells him to bounce his bitch ass because he just brings hurt to all this. Marc gets mad and is leaving and then him and Frenchie's domestic partner end their personal trainer relationship. Carson, the supervillain, is at a museum considering going back to his gimmick and when he runs into Marlene who is ducking Marc's calls. They have a nice chat and then part ways. Marc is suiting up and so is some creepy gang which might be important later. MK is at the cave getting the plane ready and they go out and assault that gang, Mark manages to take several down but one is about to pop him when he gets gunned down by the plane, and just for kicks the cops show up.

Comments: The art in this issue wasn't different but the whole Moon Knight/Marc drawings are not appropriate at all. Marc and Moon Knight are one in the same and when they do that it means they are trying to differentiate them but it doesn't work. I do miss the previous artist of this title now more than ever because that guy rocked out loud. I did not like how Marc was mad all the time, I kind of figured him as having two emotions, not caring and then mad. Also the humor came didn't really connect either. This wasn't a bad issue but the momentum kind of left. Props to Benson for correcting the ship after the most akward arc finale ever, but come on man, you gotta bounce back.

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X-Force #2 Review

Angels & Demons (Part 2)
Writers: Craig Kyle and Christopher Yost
Art: Clayton Crain

Summary:
We start with Director Hill and her SHIELD fuckers investigating the scene of the Purifiers. A bunch of people died. We go back to the scene with the action. The head Purifier put a bullet in Rhane's knee. He tells the X-Force to stand down. Laura decides to say fuck it and blows the place up. Laura then goes on to pursue Rhane, because the Purifiers died during the explosion, not the X-Force. Obviously. We go to Laura, who let Rhane escape with the Purifiers. We have a scene with Scott and some peeps. Scott says that Wolfbane's capture is all on Logan. Logan tells him to screw himself. We find out that Rhane's mentor joined the Purifiers, and she went out for revenge. We have a little scene with Rhane and Craig. We learn that Craig is Rhane's father. Not a good daddy. He repudiates her and is going to interrogate her to confess her sins. We got a little scene with Bastion and Matthew. Bastion tells him to kill the mutant because his plan sucks. We find out that Wolverine and Wolfsbane and some others are killing Purifiers til they find out where Rhane is. Wolverine tortures some poor fucker til he squeals the location. We find that Bastion wants to ressurect a creature who killls a lot of people. Name is Magus.

Comments:
This was a good issue. I am not sure where the characters are going, but it was better than the first issue. I felt like i didn't get my good dose of Wolverine, like I did last time. He didn't really stick out to me, which sucks because he was great in the first one. I don't think he grilled Summers enough about his managerial decisions. I am a bit confused on the characters in the Purifiers, and I am not sure about the origin of the monster. It was poorly described. This better not be a big Predator X, because Yost and Kyle like to have big heel monsters that eat X-Men. I don't get why Laura would kill everyone just so she could kill Matthew, and why Summers would ok it later. But it was pretty enjoyable. I love the art.

Verdict:
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The Amazing Spider-Man #552 Review

Just Blame Spider-Man
Writer: Bob Gale
Art: Phil Jimenez

Summary:
We start with JJJ at his hospital bed, bitching about being bored. The nurse won't give him anything that would cause him stress. We go to the office of the DB, where Bennett is talking about getting him a bodyguard to protect him against "death threats". We go to Peter, who hides in a tree to get pictures of the funeral for the mayor candidate. We have Peter in the soup kitchen helping May. A thief steals a donation box. We got Spidey chasing after him, and finally catches him and webs him to a wall. Cops come and tell him to freeze. Spidey escapes, and the cops give the money back to the soup kitchen. We go back to the thief (I think he has a name, but it doesn't say in here so i don't know), who escapes from the webbing via taking his clothes off. He falls into a meth lab and takes some of that shit. Scratch that. The thief's name is Freak. We go back to the soup kitchen, and Peter tells the cops that he saw Spidey going after Freak. Back to Freak. He throws up, and the throw up engulfs him. We go to a fund-raiser to get Lily's dad to run for mayor. Harry pledges a lot of money and Peter doesn't. We go back to Freak, who is engulfed in a bloody clot. We found out that the "meth" that Freak did was actually animal stem cell. We go to the Bookie, who is doing bets with villains about who is in the blood clot. Peter is doing laundry, as news reports say the clot is breaking. Peter goes to take pictures of it, and it breaks open, revealing a freaky dude.

Comments:
It was an ok issue. I had a lot of problems with the dialog, and some of the scenes. Bob Gale is not a good writer. Some of the stuff he writes just sounds terrible, and I always stress good writing in comics. The scene with the laundry is just pointless. Joey Q needs to step up and take some of that filler shit out. I am just waiting for Slott and McGuinness to come back, because i really enjoy their stuff. Gale pretty much blows, and the art is not so great. Still enjoyable if you are a big Spidey fan, but you can just skip this one.

Verdict:
FORGET IT

Green Lantern #28 Review

The Alpha Lanterns (Part 3)
Writer: Geoff Johns
Art: Mike McKone

Summary:
We start the issue with a character kill someone who has screwed up. He says he will have his revenge against Sinestro, and we see a Red Lantern (oooooooooohhhhh). We have the trial of Laira commencing. She is found guilty of using lethal force and resisting arrest. Alpha Lantern Boodika strips her former friend Laira's power ring. She is to be sent back to her homeworld. The Guardians then add the 2nd new law......... Lethal force authorized against all members of the Green Lantern Corps. We go to Sinestro and Hal. Sinestro knows about the new law, and says that the prophecy will come true. He says that when it does, the Green Lantern Corps will be ruthless. We go to the guardians. A flash of red light appears in the sky. A guardian comes back and says that there is a man named Agent Orange. We go to some people. They hate the guardians, and say that they need to find the orange light. We go to Laira. She says that with or without the ring, she will kill the rest of the Sinestro Corps. Suddeny we see red. A red power ring comes and recruits Laira into the Red Lantern Corps.

Comments:
Amazing issue. We aren't getting like crazy battle scenes anymore, but more development in stories. I found the Alpha Lanterns to be a bit disappointing, as they haven't showed their stuff yet. Even though they haven't done anything, their presence is felt throughout the Green Lantern Corps. The unveiling of the 2nd law was necessary, and i am sure a future law will be for them to use lethal force against anybody. The scene with Sinestro was just great. He foresaw everything, and it just shows how smart and calculating he is. Johns is such a good writer. I loved when he said "I believe in the Green Lantern Corps, Do You?". This is such great work by Johns. We are teased with some red and orange, but it comes to fruition at the end. Laira being recruited into the Red Lantern Corps is a logical move. I love that the war and hype towards Blackest Night (2009) has started. Laira has never said how loyal she is to the Green Lanterns, only that she wanted to kill the Sinestro Corps. The red ring will allow her to do that. I am waiting for Reis or Van Skyver to come back, but McKone is alright (I thought Sinestro was purple).

Verdict:
OWN IT

Batman Evidence

To follow up on my partner's analysis on the state of the Dark Knight, let us examine some evidence from Grant Morrison's run, and the possible ramifications:

Look at this panel. We get Batman going into a discussion with himself about the possible King of Crime. Notice the color patterns as we go through the panels.



















































This is the big one. Lets look at the last scene. Notice the purple jacket and the dumpster.


This is in the first scene of Grant Morrison's run in Batman 655.

The same goddamn jacket is in the dumpster, 20 issues from now. This is just too much for me. I personally think that it is definetly the Joker who is going to arise as the top heel in all of DC, in a King of Crime gimmick of sorts. We will just have to see, but the Cave has a lot of faith in Morrison.

Grant Morrison's Batman

Here at the cave we are big Batman fans (yeah, I can't stress that enough). Seeing as how this is the best week of comics, we decided to reward our loyal reader (I know in the singular, kinda sad) with the best possible reviews the cave has to offer. As an added bonus we have decided to give you the legendary life-arming Grant Morrison/Batman article we alluded to into in our Batman 674 post all those reviews ago. Sports God and I had this amazing groundbreaking conversation which took all our cunnings and which we essentially come to some prophetic conclusions. Neither of us saved the conversation because we had used up all our cunning (that stuff doesn't grow back).
The conversation started out simply us taking about how much this issue rocked when we began talking about the ending. As you know (and if you don't see our review) the fake Batman was running away and dropped a fairly large bomb of a new villain that was pulling the strings. Batman had suspected that there was a method to all this madness and if he could think it, then it had some truth to it. The fake tells Batman that his luck is up and he's due. Throughout his run Morrison has left clever hints about everything and this issue was no exception. What struck me was how the issue turned purple at the end. One name popped into my head, Joker. This was a heavy purple issue. Our next clue came in the final scene in the book. While Bruce was lying in that dumpster, by his foot was the Joker's jacket. That doesn't happen very often. That is when Sport's God went beast mode and broke out a bigger clue. The trash can was outside police headquarters. In the very first issue of Morrison's run, Batman threw the Joker into that very same dumpster after killing the first impostor Batman!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not only that, but the Bat-mite summoning spell was also on the trash can. Cross referencing this with Morrison interviews, he was stated he wants to the Joker to go big so you put two and two together. The Joker clearly has a role in what is to come next whether he is the man behind it all or just the instrument which this new villain will carry out his plan. There is a problem with the Joker theory which comes from continuity, he is in space on a deserted planet beefing with Lex Luthor. Also if he is a criminal genius who rivals Batman's intelligence, how in the blue hell did he let this happen. Those are minor things (you know since in comics Wolverine is everywhere in Marvel, Batman is everywhere in DC, Superman is currently in the future and present, and even Robin is in San Fran, Gotham with Batman, and in Gotham in high school). It is feasible that the Joker may still make an appearance since Grant wants to tell his story and DC will probably let him since he is going to bail out the company with Final Crisis (recognize). Anyway that is my portion of the discussion, look for Sports God to post his.

Ultimate Spider-Man #119 Review

Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Art: Stuart Immonem

Synopsis: The kids are still at the beach and Liz has managed to flame on if you will. Johnny gets called away, Liz freaks out flies off, Iceman pursues, and Kong calls out Parker for not going after her as Spider-man which was the highlight of the issue. Brief awkward moment when everyone thinks Kitty snitched and told Kong (she didn't) and Peter goes off to "get" Spider-man. So Liz is flying out of control on fire until Iceman coaches her down. Spider-man shows up and almost gets blasted (not the good kind). They have a conversation about power and responsibility and all the choices you have. She flies off they follow her, Magneto shows up (and steals the show, not really).

Comments: All the magic of Spider-man is promptly on display during this issue. You get the real life problems he faces along with amazing dialog from Bendis. It was nice to see Peter in the mentor role for once coaching young superheroes along their way instead of having the usual moral dilemma. The cover was kind of a let down since I expected Magneto to appear way earlier, while I was reading issue I didn't think he would appear at all. The art for my taste is a downgrade from Bagley, and I miss it. There is just something about how all the faces are pointy and I just don't like how he draws his Peter. The Magneto thing was a rip though and asides from a few jokes this issue wasn't special but it is definite worth a skim. The one panel with Iceman and Spider-man, come on, moment of the month, lock it up. This issue gets

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X-men: Leagcy #208 Review

Writer: Mike Carey
Art: John Romita Jr., Scot Eaton

Synopsis: Another day another X-men title, let's go. Dr. Charles Xavier is at a cafe with Moria trying to convince her of his vision of the future. Bishop suddenly appears and pops a cap into Xavier's head. He says Xavier killed them all. We cut to the lab where Xavier's body is being kept by Exodus, Cargill, Voght, and Sentinel. Exodus comments on how Xavier is still resisting him even though he is brain dead. Vought says that Xavier went to Korea during the war and his physic defenses are a natural instinct he developed to block out all the death (I hate Vietnam references). Exodus decides he has to completely rebuild Xavier's mind so everything must go. Sentinel, Exodus, and Cargill are talking and briefly recap Messiah Complex and some of the finer details like Xavier's body being stolen by a guy who was blown up by sand from the inside (not that there's anything wrong with that). Meanwhile Xavier is still brain dead and is having fragmented memories. He flashes back to the original X-men and their first day on the job. They start doing their first team workout in the danger room. Moria and Xavier are going over specs for the Danger Room and how to do all the holographic training when she calls out his ego. He says that this all just in case and he doesn't want to start a mutant army. She finds a note by Cyclops's name and asks what it is and he tells her that Scott might have had a previous encounter with some other mutant and he wants to follow up on that. They start to argue some where when the memory ends. Exodus is explaining that Charles isn't brain dead but damaged (my b) and his mind rejects all his memories. He is going off a few bits and traces and it is all a matter of finding the right stimulus. Xavier is having a vision of him and Scott as they talk about limitation on powers and whether it is right to impose their powers on anybody. Exodus calls in Magneto to help him get this shit on lock.


Comments: I got a beef with this issue. Here at the cave, Sports God (cool guy) and me (cool guy) review a lot of X-men. Look at our panel on the right at the bottom. Yeah, a lot of X-men, in fact i daresay you won't find more X's on porno sites that you will on the bottom of our bar (that's a challenge, not really, I'm sure there are several porno sites with more X's). The beef is this, the Messiah Complex ending (if you can call it that) sucked. One reason is the disappearance of Xavier's body and the lack of caring from all the other members of the X-men. I don't buy the explanation since Emma was there and I'm sure she has mental blocks to prevent that kind of stuff (for god's sake a vegetable can do it, see synopsis). Another though was how Sinister was just kind of taken out like a bitch. You can't do that, that is like HHH losing to Drew McIntyre. It doesn't happen. But the biggest of all beefs is how Magneto got left out. He is the best at what he does, you can't do that, which is why I'm glad he is back on one of the many X-titles. I wasn't a fan of what they did with the art of this issue but I realize how it is needed to differentiate between Xavier's dreams and the present world but it could have been better. This series will probably be the best out of all the Messiah Complex spin-offs because it has two of the most compelling characters in all of comics Magneto and Xavier. Lately it seems that X-men has lost what has made it great which was the intellectual debate between Xavier and Magneto. I enjoyed the undertone that it presented and it seems the message of the X-men about tolerance and acceptance has been lost. Call me optimistic, but I can see it making a return in this through the rebuilding of Xavier's mind. I always enjoyed how Magneto and Xavier seemed to wage this philosophical battle of one who believed society would improve if mutants took control because they are the superior species and the other who believed that society would improve if we co-existed. Now with the population dwindling and survival not guaranteed it will be interesting to see what that has done to their perspectives when they sit down and have that heart to heart that is so desperately needed. Now time to get off my soapbox and wrap this shit up, this was the best/most relevant spin-off from Messiah Complex containing a solid premise (weak foundations mind you) with good art. The character development that we get for Xavier is top notch seeing as his stock has fallen. This was a very well written issue which is why you should

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