Countdown #06 Review

Writer: Adam Beechen
Artist: Mike Norton

Summary: We are having such a great comics week that I felt it is necessary to start posting reviews of some crappy comics. Face it, we're due so here it is in all its glory, the Countdown to nothing review. This issue is meant to be the start of the Great Disaster and it begins with a thud. The story is told without dialog and is all narration boxes. Just a quick note before the review. We start with Buddy walking down the halls recapping what happened. Karate Kidd is died due to lack of Mr Migagee (I miss you Pat) and now they are about to autopsy. They are watching the news and the virus has spread and is infecting some people. They haven't picked up on that and continue the autopsy when the virus pops out and starts attacking them. Green Lantern catches it but it has gone airborne so everyone is screwed. The first city that goes to hell happens to be Gotham because it just happens that way. Kyle brings Jason in and in true inept writing fashion he is written as a complete douchebag. The disaster really hits home when female scientist #2 goes crazy and takes out random scientist guy #5. Ray's stressed out, Mary Marvel punches Jason, and Hal takes the virus into space. Buddy decides to fuck it and go home and be with the grandson and daughter. Una decides to tag along and the Great Disaster is upon us.

Comments: The word lame gets tossed around a lot lately and this issue really redefines the word. First how are you going to have something with a name like the Great Disaster and not have any dialog in that same issue. If this is the climax of Countdown they should at least have someone say something out loud. That'd be nice, all I'm saying. Another thing is due to the way this title treats the Multiverse I really don't care whether it lives or not. It seems like it was nothing but cannon fodder. The virus won't spread to the Universe-Alpha or whatever the prime universe is. Look I am going to be straight, bad dialog, ok art, terrible story, don't buy it, move on...

FUCK IT

Countdown To Final Crisis #7

Gone Tomorrow
Writer: Paul Dini
Art: Tom Derenick

Summary:
We start the issue with Holly and her friend talking about how they don't have powers anymore and they are just normal people. We go back to the crew, who are carrying Karate Kid to JLA Headquarters. Superman doesn't know who they are. Firestorm freaks out and vanishes them to another place. They are in upstate New York. They figure out that they have been erased. Una cries about how we need to save Val. They go to a lab. Joker doesn't know Harley, so they must not be on the same earth. We see that Jason is in another fight. They sneak into the lab, and they are confronted by monsters. Jimmy takes them out. They run into Dubliex, who tells them that Val is already dead.

Comments:
Pretty forgettable issue. Useless banter and crappy fight scenes took up most of this book. So we learn that no one recognizes them and Val is dead. OK thats fine. Just don't put in so much filler. We are nearing the end, and we need substance. So get on it Dini. Art is what it always is. I have problems with how they are developing Jason. He is just a thug now. We see him in 1 panel, and he is getting into a fight with a citizen. That is just insane man. Calm down. I am still pretty excited for Final Crisis.

Verdict:
FORGET IT

Countdown To Final Crisis #8 Review

Writer: Paul Dini
Artist: Carlos Magno and Rodney Ramos

Synopsis: So the people at DC are just going balls to the walls to end this painful 52 week event. They probably are bleeding money due to this event. For those of you who don't follow countdown here let's jump into this summary. Ray Palmer is just shrinking his way to the chess board which the Monitor and Darkseid are going at it on the chessboard. Darkseid says he won (probably) and that the Monitors plan of setting up the Monarch failed him. The Monitor retorts that even though Darkseid has won he is going to die along with the Fourth World. Darkseid is calm though saying as he plans to remake reality anyway and there is no room for any of them in his Fifth World. Naturally Ray Palmer overhears and then books it back to the Challengers and breaks down what is going on with Darkseid. They debate over killing Karate Kid and Jason Todd makes another kill something comment. Jimmy Olsen meanwhile is jonesing to go to fight Darkseid because Darkseid has been loading him up with all the powers of the dead New Gods. The Monitor appears and warps them back to Earth while Darkseid crushes the Monitor piece because again, he is pretty sure he has won. We then get a Bizaroo backstory.

Comments: First the art is ok, there is this one really awkward panel with Donna Troy that just took me out of the issue. I just stared at it and was like god damn really, really DC? Dini has been solid on dialog but what the hell happened to Jason Todd? Seriously, he was never about killing for the sake of killing. He was an actual hero who just thought killing was necessary to cause change. He would do it because that is the only thing criminals respond to anymore. I am not appreciating this change in character at all, completely took the depth out of the character and made him into just another anti hero thug. It just isn't cool. I understand that now DC has just stopped caring and just wants to end but do you really have to stop with your commitment to quality, ok maybe you do but I hope Grant Morrison comes in and goes beast mode and makes everything ok. Basically Countdown has become the exact meaning of average which is why you

SKIM IT

Countdown To Final Crisis #9 Review

Pay The Piper
Writer: Paul Dini
Art: Tom Derenick

Summary:
We start the issue with Piper and the crazy dude. Everyone is wiped out, but the dude awakens to tell Piper that he is a human form of the Anti-Life equation, and tells him to play his flute. An OMAC comes down and kills the crazy dude. We cut to a Monitor and Darkseid. Darkseid says that it ends on his terms. We go to Jason, who sees that the OMAC is carrying off Piper. He says that he is going to get off this hellhole. We see The Challengers and the Amazons going off to rescue Jason. The wierd dude is back. Lots of shit happens now. Red Robin got into the core, and fights a bunch of OMACS. He ends up freeing the imprisoned Firestorm, and the Challengers show up. There is a huge fight, Karate Kid is getting dissected by Eye, and more shit i can't even explain. Atom interrupts the dissection, but Eye already has the virus stored. Eye sends in more OMACS. Piper kills the wierd dude with a song, and then BLOWS UP EYE. Yeah. The faces are all knocked out, and about to die.

Comments:
Countdown to Final Crisis is rolling. We get a ton of action in this issue. I am kind of confused how the weird dude like survived the first time around, but that is a minor complaint. Piper went over big here. He just manned up and played his flute. Dini handled Piper well. Jason is kind of a badass, trying to get off the planet and not worry about his old buddies. Dini does a good job making Rayner look like a fag. Speaking of which, the fucking main heel goes down to a gay guy. Great. At least it was built up well. Art looks solid.

Verdict:
GET IT

Countdown to Final Crisis #10 Review

The Gods Must Be Crazy
Writer: Paul Dini
Art: Scott Kolins

Summary:
Holly and Mary and them break down the door to the dimension, and is confronted with this scary motherfucker. Mary says she will take care of it, and says shazam. We see the Challengers get freaked out by a scary lightning strike. They go investigate. Mary Marvel is back. The Gods say that she has freed them, so they don't hate her now. Harley bitches about how she helped too, and some of the gods give Harley and Holly some powers. We see the Karate Kid fighting a possessed Una. Out of no where Red Robin comes to help Kid, but Kid doesn't want him to hurt Una. Todd tells him to go to hell and leaves. A new OMAC guy kills Kid (i think). He fails to assimilate him, and takes him away for an autopsy. Granny is walking and talking, and gets jumped by the 3 girls. They beat up her guard, but Granny runs off. Granny and them run into some guy we can't see. The guy kills Granny and says the New Gods will be extinct. The Challengers then run into the girls. We see some old guy telling Piper to pipe out a song. He promises him to be the god on Apokolips. Just then, the world shakes. Brother Eye man. Brother Eye. I am not sure, but i think hes a fucking planet.

Comments:
That was a good issue. Countdown is in overdrive right now, and we are sprinting to a finish. Everything is finally coming into place. Last issue, i bitched about how bad the Mary/Holly/Harley storyline was going, but it finally made some sense this week. The best part about this issue is that the loose ends are being tied up. Now Mary and Co. are joined up with the Challengers. Brother Eye man. Brother Eye is Apokolips (I'm guessing, but i am pretty fucking sure). Jason Todd is still doing his thing. We don't know who killed Granny, but thank the Gods (pun) she's dead. I really think we are going to get a great final 9 issues to finish up this title, and be on our way to Final Crisis. Oh Yeah.

Verdict:
GET IT

Countdown to Final Crisis #11 Review

Eye of the Beholder
Writer: Paul Dini
Art: Mike Norton

Summary:
We start the issue with Karate Kid saying how Brother Eye has transported him into some other planet. We go to the Challengers, and Red Robin is grilling Atom for being useless. Then he disappears. Jason is just slinging through town (Batman style), and says that he can't trust anyone after Bob turned on him. He then approaches Brother Eye. Karate Kid is doing his thing (karate of course), and he says he doesn't know why Brother Eye brought him there. Back to Red Robin. He is talking about how Brother Eye found himself here on this planet, then goes to it to try to get back to Gotham and his Earth. We go to Trickster, who is thinking suicide, but someone tells him that he will decide when he gets to die. We go to Holly and them, who are trying to escape the Granny or whatever. Granny sends like evil bitches her way, who get destroyed eventually. And then they decide to go kill Granny. We go to Olsen, who is on some planet to get backup. Backup turns out to be men in skirts. We end the issue with Val trying to get out, and then an OPAC comes to fight him.

Comments:
Countdown is allright now. It isn't dreadful anymore. I had mixed feelings about this issue. I liked what Dini did with Jason. He gave him an identity now as the Red Robin. He totally looks like Batman here, with the mannerisms and thinking like a detective. What really killed this issue for me was everything with Holly and the Granny and the fucking Stomper or whatever the hell. Stupid shit like this really kills an issue. Worst yet, it took up a ton of room too. I just want Holly to go away because she sucks, and is written terribly. The Karate Kid stuff was solid, and i guess it is important to the story. Assimilating Val's virus into the city would be pretty terrible. The thing that bugs me is that this is supposed to lead up to the greatest crossover in DC history. Countdown is ok, not anything great. I just really hope we get something different and seperate from Countdown when we get to Final Crisis.

Verdict:
SKIM IT

Countdown #13 Review

Written by Paul Dini
Story consultant Keith Giffen
Scripts by Tony Bedard
Art by Pete Woods and Tom Derenick
Covers by Woods

Synopsis: We start with Earth-51. People are fighting, various superheroes fighting the Monitors. Superman-Prime and the Monarch are going out at it. They banter a little and Superman-Prime it just taking it to him. He decides to rip off the Monarch's armor and unleashes a nuclear holocaust. Basically everyone is killed and Superman-Prime just jumps out and gets ready for round 2. We see the challengers and Earth-51 Batman (recognize) chilling. Donna sees a message that tells her to go to Apokolips. Solomon has just downed Forerunner when Darkside shows up and tells him that life is like a game of checkers, and invites him to play. The monitor hears something and takes off into space and then we see Donna and Jason (word, Red Robin now) arguing over the fiery letters. Some supervillains roll up and Earth-51 Batman (recognize) jumps the Joker. Jason jumps into the fight when some alternate version of Superman caves in Earth-51 Batman (recognize). Green Lantern knocks him away and they all take off except for Jason. The Joker cracks a joke about Batman. The monitor meets up with the Challengers, tells them how the source has contacted them and they should listen. Round 2 of Superman Monarch concludes as Superman rips off more armor from the Monarch and wipes out everything except for one tree (take that hippies).

Comments:
This was a solid issue. The negatives is Superman-Prime (should be boy but thank you legal lawsuits). He sounds like such a little bitch, someone should fix his retarded dialog. I'm liking how Darkside is coming back, he has been jobbing for a while now but now he is getting the push he deserves. Red Robin is also pretty bad ass. He crushed the Jokers' head in with a rock which is top 10 bad ass moments, I'm glad hes getting up there. I hate the Monarch and am glad Superboy-Prime took him out. The dude is a terrible villain, I mean why, seriously, why? Superboy can stick around because he is written well by certain writers and I believe in Grant Morrison. The art varies and sometimes I like it and sometimes I don't, its mixed. Countdown is getting better and hopefully if they fix the dialog, get a villain, and start pushing Jason, it should all be good.

Verdict:
A very weak GET IT

Countdown To Final Crisis #14 Review

Choke On It!
Writer: Paul Dini
Art: Pete Woods/Tom Derenick/Wayne Faucher

Summary:
We have Superman Prime threatening the Monitors after the bad one said that the perfect earth is being destroyed. He clearly lied here. Donna dresses up as the Wonder-Woman and attack Belethra, and in the process gains control of her Minion army. We catch up with Jason Todd, who dresses up as the Red Robin to fight in the war with Batman. They get into a sticky situation, only to get bailed out by Donna and her new Minion Army. We end the issue with the Monarch seeing his plans being foiled. He is about to go down to the battlefield, when Superman Prime comes out and confronts him.

Comments:
That was one of the better issues of DC's weekly series. The dialogue is still lacking. I understand Superman Prime is supposed to be immature, but this is kind of ridiculous. All he does is yell. The story in countdown always moves along slowly, but a lot of stuff happened in this issue, which is a plus. We are treated to some cool action and moments. I could care less about Donna, but Jason was just dope in this issue. Red Robin. That was cool. I really don't like the over-paranoid Batman of this Earth, but Jason came through for me today. If Grant Morrison is really going to use Monarch in Final Crisis, Dini needs to build him up properly. He cannot job to Superman Prime next week. That would be terrible. I am not impressed by Monarch, but I trust Grant to really maximize character potential of all of the Countdowners (if he chooses to use them). Art is fine for me.

Verdict:
SKIM IT