X-Force #2 Review

Angels & Demons (Part 2)
Writers: Craig Kyle and Christopher Yost
Art: Clayton Crain

Summary:
We start with Director Hill and her SHIELD fuckers investigating the scene of the Purifiers. A bunch of people died. We go back to the scene with the action. The head Purifier put a bullet in Rhane's knee. He tells the X-Force to stand down. Laura decides to say fuck it and blows the place up. Laura then goes on to pursue Rhane, because the Purifiers died during the explosion, not the X-Force. Obviously. We go to Laura, who let Rhane escape with the Purifiers. We have a scene with Scott and some peeps. Scott says that Wolfbane's capture is all on Logan. Logan tells him to screw himself. We find out that Rhane's mentor joined the Purifiers, and she went out for revenge. We have a little scene with Rhane and Craig. We learn that Craig is Rhane's father. Not a good daddy. He repudiates her and is going to interrogate her to confess her sins. We got a little scene with Bastion and Matthew. Bastion tells him to kill the mutant because his plan sucks. We find out that Wolverine and Wolfsbane and some others are killing Purifiers til they find out where Rhane is. Wolverine tortures some poor fucker til he squeals the location. We find that Bastion wants to ressurect a creature who killls a lot of people. Name is Magus.

Comments:
This was a good issue. I am not sure where the characters are going, but it was better than the first issue. I felt like i didn't get my good dose of Wolverine, like I did last time. He didn't really stick out to me, which sucks because he was great in the first one. I don't think he grilled Summers enough about his managerial decisions. I am a bit confused on the characters in the Purifiers, and I am not sure about the origin of the monster. It was poorly described. This better not be a big Predator X, because Yost and Kyle like to have big heel monsters that eat X-Men. I don't get why Laura would kill everyone just so she could kill Matthew, and why Summers would ok it later. But it was pretty enjoyable. I love the art.

Verdict:
SKIM IT

The Amazing Spider-Man #552 Review

Just Blame Spider-Man
Writer: Bob Gale
Art: Phil Jimenez

Summary:
We start with JJJ at his hospital bed, bitching about being bored. The nurse won't give him anything that would cause him stress. We go to the office of the DB, where Bennett is talking about getting him a bodyguard to protect him against "death threats". We go to Peter, who hides in a tree to get pictures of the funeral for the mayor candidate. We have Peter in the soup kitchen helping May. A thief steals a donation box. We got Spidey chasing after him, and finally catches him and webs him to a wall. Cops come and tell him to freeze. Spidey escapes, and the cops give the money back to the soup kitchen. We go back to the thief (I think he has a name, but it doesn't say in here so i don't know), who escapes from the webbing via taking his clothes off. He falls into a meth lab and takes some of that shit. Scratch that. The thief's name is Freak. We go back to the soup kitchen, and Peter tells the cops that he saw Spidey going after Freak. Back to Freak. He throws up, and the throw up engulfs him. We go to a fund-raiser to get Lily's dad to run for mayor. Harry pledges a lot of money and Peter doesn't. We go back to Freak, who is engulfed in a bloody clot. We found out that the "meth" that Freak did was actually animal stem cell. We go to the Bookie, who is doing bets with villains about who is in the blood clot. Peter is doing laundry, as news reports say the clot is breaking. Peter goes to take pictures of it, and it breaks open, revealing a freaky dude.

Comments:
It was an ok issue. I had a lot of problems with the dialog, and some of the scenes. Bob Gale is not a good writer. Some of the stuff he writes just sounds terrible, and I always stress good writing in comics. The scene with the laundry is just pointless. Joey Q needs to step up and take some of that filler shit out. I am just waiting for Slott and McGuinness to come back, because i really enjoy their stuff. Gale pretty much blows, and the art is not so great. Still enjoyable if you are a big Spidey fan, but you can just skip this one.

Verdict:
FORGET IT

Green Lantern #28 Review

The Alpha Lanterns (Part 3)
Writer: Geoff Johns
Art: Mike McKone

Summary:
We start the issue with a character kill someone who has screwed up. He says he will have his revenge against Sinestro, and we see a Red Lantern (oooooooooohhhhh). We have the trial of Laira commencing. She is found guilty of using lethal force and resisting arrest. Alpha Lantern Boodika strips her former friend Laira's power ring. She is to be sent back to her homeworld. The Guardians then add the 2nd new law......... Lethal force authorized against all members of the Green Lantern Corps. We go to Sinestro and Hal. Sinestro knows about the new law, and says that the prophecy will come true. He says that when it does, the Green Lantern Corps will be ruthless. We go to the guardians. A flash of red light appears in the sky. A guardian comes back and says that there is a man named Agent Orange. We go to some people. They hate the guardians, and say that they need to find the orange light. We go to Laira. She says that with or without the ring, she will kill the rest of the Sinestro Corps. Suddeny we see red. A red power ring comes and recruits Laira into the Red Lantern Corps.

Comments:
Amazing issue. We aren't getting like crazy battle scenes anymore, but more development in stories. I found the Alpha Lanterns to be a bit disappointing, as they haven't showed their stuff yet. Even though they haven't done anything, their presence is felt throughout the Green Lantern Corps. The unveiling of the 2nd law was necessary, and i am sure a future law will be for them to use lethal force against anybody. The scene with Sinestro was just great. He foresaw everything, and it just shows how smart and calculating he is. Johns is such a good writer. I loved when he said "I believe in the Green Lantern Corps, Do You?". This is such great work by Johns. We are teased with some red and orange, but it comes to fruition at the end. Laira being recruited into the Red Lantern Corps is a logical move. I love that the war and hype towards Blackest Night (2009) has started. Laira has never said how loyal she is to the Green Lanterns, only that she wanted to kill the Sinestro Corps. The red ring will allow her to do that. I am waiting for Reis or Van Skyver to come back, but McKone is alright (I thought Sinestro was purple).

Verdict:
OWN IT

Batman Evidence

To follow up on my partner's analysis on the state of the Dark Knight, let us examine some evidence from Grant Morrison's run, and the possible ramifications:

Look at this panel. We get Batman going into a discussion with himself about the possible King of Crime. Notice the color patterns as we go through the panels.



















































This is the big one. Lets look at the last scene. Notice the purple jacket and the dumpster.


This is in the first scene of Grant Morrison's run in Batman 655.

The same goddamn jacket is in the dumpster, 20 issues from now. This is just too much for me. I personally think that it is definetly the Joker who is going to arise as the top heel in all of DC, in a King of Crime gimmick of sorts. We will just have to see, but the Cave has a lot of faith in Morrison.

Grant Morrison's Batman

Here at the cave we are big Batman fans (yeah, I can't stress that enough). Seeing as how this is the best week of comics, we decided to reward our loyal reader (I know in the singular, kinda sad) with the best possible reviews the cave has to offer. As an added bonus we have decided to give you the legendary life-arming Grant Morrison/Batman article we alluded to into in our Batman 674 post all those reviews ago. Sports God and I had this amazing groundbreaking conversation which took all our cunnings and which we essentially come to some prophetic conclusions. Neither of us saved the conversation because we had used up all our cunning (that stuff doesn't grow back).
The conversation started out simply us taking about how much this issue rocked when we began talking about the ending. As you know (and if you don't see our review) the fake Batman was running away and dropped a fairly large bomb of a new villain that was pulling the strings. Batman had suspected that there was a method to all this madness and if he could think it, then it had some truth to it. The fake tells Batman that his luck is up and he's due. Throughout his run Morrison has left clever hints about everything and this issue was no exception. What struck me was how the issue turned purple at the end. One name popped into my head, Joker. This was a heavy purple issue. Our next clue came in the final scene in the book. While Bruce was lying in that dumpster, by his foot was the Joker's jacket. That doesn't happen very often. That is when Sport's God went beast mode and broke out a bigger clue. The trash can was outside police headquarters. In the very first issue of Morrison's run, Batman threw the Joker into that very same dumpster after killing the first impostor Batman!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not only that, but the Bat-mite summoning spell was also on the trash can. Cross referencing this with Morrison interviews, he was stated he wants to the Joker to go big so you put two and two together. The Joker clearly has a role in what is to come next whether he is the man behind it all or just the instrument which this new villain will carry out his plan. There is a problem with the Joker theory which comes from continuity, he is in space on a deserted planet beefing with Lex Luthor. Also if he is a criminal genius who rivals Batman's intelligence, how in the blue hell did he let this happen. Those are minor things (you know since in comics Wolverine is everywhere in Marvel, Batman is everywhere in DC, Superman is currently in the future and present, and even Robin is in San Fran, Gotham with Batman, and in Gotham in high school). It is feasible that the Joker may still make an appearance since Grant wants to tell his story and DC will probably let him since he is going to bail out the company with Final Crisis (recognize). Anyway that is my portion of the discussion, look for Sports God to post his.

Ultimate Spider-Man #119 Review

Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Art: Stuart Immonem

Synopsis: The kids are still at the beach and Liz has managed to flame on if you will. Johnny gets called away, Liz freaks out flies off, Iceman pursues, and Kong calls out Parker for not going after her as Spider-man which was the highlight of the issue. Brief awkward moment when everyone thinks Kitty snitched and told Kong (she didn't) and Peter goes off to "get" Spider-man. So Liz is flying out of control on fire until Iceman coaches her down. Spider-man shows up and almost gets blasted (not the good kind). They have a conversation about power and responsibility and all the choices you have. She flies off they follow her, Magneto shows up (and steals the show, not really).

Comments: All the magic of Spider-man is promptly on display during this issue. You get the real life problems he faces along with amazing dialog from Bendis. It was nice to see Peter in the mentor role for once coaching young superheroes along their way instead of having the usual moral dilemma. The cover was kind of a let down since I expected Magneto to appear way earlier, while I was reading issue I didn't think he would appear at all. The art for my taste is a downgrade from Bagley, and I miss it. There is just something about how all the faces are pointy and I just don't like how he draws his Peter. The Magneto thing was a rip though and asides from a few jokes this issue wasn't special but it is definite worth a skim. The one panel with Iceman and Spider-man, come on, moment of the month, lock it up. This issue gets

SKIM IT

X-men: Leagcy #208 Review

Writer: Mike Carey
Art: John Romita Jr., Scot Eaton

Synopsis: Another day another X-men title, let's go. Dr. Charles Xavier is at a cafe with Moria trying to convince her of his vision of the future. Bishop suddenly appears and pops a cap into Xavier's head. He says Xavier killed them all. We cut to the lab where Xavier's body is being kept by Exodus, Cargill, Voght, and Sentinel. Exodus comments on how Xavier is still resisting him even though he is brain dead. Vought says that Xavier went to Korea during the war and his physic defenses are a natural instinct he developed to block out all the death (I hate Vietnam references). Exodus decides he has to completely rebuild Xavier's mind so everything must go. Sentinel, Exodus, and Cargill are talking and briefly recap Messiah Complex and some of the finer details like Xavier's body being stolen by a guy who was blown up by sand from the inside (not that there's anything wrong with that). Meanwhile Xavier is still brain dead and is having fragmented memories. He flashes back to the original X-men and their first day on the job. They start doing their first team workout in the danger room. Moria and Xavier are going over specs for the Danger Room and how to do all the holographic training when she calls out his ego. He says that this all just in case and he doesn't want to start a mutant army. She finds a note by Cyclops's name and asks what it is and he tells her that Scott might have had a previous encounter with some other mutant and he wants to follow up on that. They start to argue some where when the memory ends. Exodus is explaining that Charles isn't brain dead but damaged (my b) and his mind rejects all his memories. He is going off a few bits and traces and it is all a matter of finding the right stimulus. Xavier is having a vision of him and Scott as they talk about limitation on powers and whether it is right to impose their powers on anybody. Exodus calls in Magneto to help him get this shit on lock.


Comments: I got a beef with this issue. Here at the cave, Sports God (cool guy) and me (cool guy) review a lot of X-men. Look at our panel on the right at the bottom. Yeah, a lot of X-men, in fact i daresay you won't find more X's on porno sites that you will on the bottom of our bar (that's a challenge, not really, I'm sure there are several porno sites with more X's). The beef is this, the Messiah Complex ending (if you can call it that) sucked. One reason is the disappearance of Xavier's body and the lack of caring from all the other members of the X-men. I don't buy the explanation since Emma was there and I'm sure she has mental blocks to prevent that kind of stuff (for god's sake a vegetable can do it, see synopsis). Another though was how Sinister was just kind of taken out like a bitch. You can't do that, that is like HHH losing to Drew McIntyre. It doesn't happen. But the biggest of all beefs is how Magneto got left out. He is the best at what he does, you can't do that, which is why I'm glad he is back on one of the many X-titles. I wasn't a fan of what they did with the art of this issue but I realize how it is needed to differentiate between Xavier's dreams and the present world but it could have been better. This series will probably be the best out of all the Messiah Complex spin-offs because it has two of the most compelling characters in all of comics Magneto and Xavier. Lately it seems that X-men has lost what has made it great which was the intellectual debate between Xavier and Magneto. I enjoyed the undertone that it presented and it seems the message of the X-men about tolerance and acceptance has been lost. Call me optimistic, but I can see it making a return in this through the rebuilding of Xavier's mind. I always enjoyed how Magneto and Xavier seemed to wage this philosophical battle of one who believed society would improve if mutants took control because they are the superior species and the other who believed that society would improve if we co-existed. Now with the population dwindling and survival not guaranteed it will be interesting to see what that has done to their perspectives when they sit down and have that heart to heart that is so desperately needed. Now time to get off my soapbox and wrap this shit up, this was the best/most relevant spin-off from Messiah Complex containing a solid premise (weak foundations mind you) with good art. The character development that we get for Xavier is top notch seeing as his stock has fallen. This was a very well written issue which is why you should

GET IT